RANT/ What I Really Think of Non-Dancers Challenging Me to A Battle

I've battled in heels, straight from work
I’ve battled in heels, straight from work

This happens quite often when someone finds out you’re a dancer – they talk about how they “used to breakdance” or how they’re “a natural at krumping” and so on. Then because of a mixture of ego and curiousity, they’ll challenge you to an impromptu dance battle, even if there’s no music playing.

It happened just this past weekend. I’m in a bar and somehow the conversation with some guy I just met, flowed into how I dance. You get the standard questions like “What sort of dancing?” and “What moves can you do?”. Then they start talking about themselves and a brief love affair with some sort of dancing.

“Oh can you breakdance?” he asked.
“Not really, but I like to do toprocks every now and then.”
“I can do windmill and airflares.”

HA! I call bullshit and this  enrages them further, inspiring a spontaneous dance battle in the middle of the bar, for whatever egotistical reason they have. Then my friend comes along to grab something out of her bag, and I mention to her, “Hey this dude is tryna challenge me to a dance battle.” She just looked at him, laughed really loudly, slammed the table and walked off. Those who know me, know. [EDIT] I forgot to mention how he asked for my Facebook as I was leaving. HA!

I tell all these dudes the same thing. I don’t fuck with amateurs.

I have paid my dues. I’ve won all sorts of impromptu dance battles in the club to crew competitions on stage. I have nothing to prove.

I get really annoyed when this happens, so much that I needed to rant about it. This usually comes up when some guy is trying to impress me and then wants to see me dance. There are MUCH better ways to achieve this, so any douchebags who are arrogant enough to approach it in this way get ignored.

Here’s what’s going through my head about people who fit the above scenario:

  1. WOW. Just WOW
  2. Douchebag alert
  3. You’re obviously not a (great) dancer
  4. You’re pretty wack, and I can tell this without even seeing you dance
  5. You have some mad insecurities
  6. Your arrogance is a massive turn-off
  7. There’s no way I’m giving you any more of my time
  8. This is just insulting. I got nothing to prove to a no-name like you
  9. Get the fuck outta here with your ego

Let me tell you 2 things about how you compare to actual dancers:

1. Great dancers are humble

All the dancers I’ve met who are world-class levels are the most humble people I know. They have gone through more rejections and put in more hours of training than anybody else; that’s why they’re the best of the best. Real dancers respect other dancers and have more of a fascination than challenge response. Dancers understand the effort that goes into training and performing and will never undermine this with that sort of arrogance.

If someone is well-skilled, other dancers will know. They don’t have anything to prove to others, especially non-dancers. They dance for themselves, for freedom, to express themselves. To make a living and provide for their family. Because it’s cathartic. Not to undermine someone they just met.

2. Great dancers want to dance WITH you, not AGAINST you


Now that’s more like it, dancing with Rod at Rock Lily, The Star, Sydney

In a social setting where a dancer is trying to impress someone, they’ll show their moves and sometimes you might get caught up in a friendly battle. But in my case, I see more guys trying to dance with girls to get that closeness, rather than treat them like an enemy they need to crush with their dance moves. That is obviously the successful approach.

I don’t understand why anyone would think that I’d be interested in them after they aggressively try to make me lose at something. Really? Go get some tips on dating. Google is your friend.


I feel for all the dancers who have to put up with this shit. Usually I’d ignore it and walk away, but this had to be said. For someone to completely discount all the hard work you’ve put in to become a dancer is a massive turn-off. It’s similar to people just wanting you to do a move for them: “Hey you’re from *so and so crew*. Show us a move!”

We’re not monkeys and we’re not going to dance just because you want us to.
If you’re asking us to dance, we’d say “Fuck you, pay me.”


1 Comment

  1. Trina

    10 August 2016 at 11:52 am

    Wow thank you!

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