The Time I Said Yes To A Guy Wearing An iPood T-Shirt
If you’ve ever been on a bad date, then on reflection of it, did it make you realise what you don’t want? Did you focus on what you don’t want, or flip it to focus on what you do want? Or just go into a neutral zone and think “well I know I don’t want that, and even though I don’t know what I do want specifically, I’m definitely sure I know what I don’t want now.” Well, that also helps.
We have contrasting experiences to help us define our desires.
I haven’t been on many dates outside of being in a relationship. One out of two times that I can remember ever saying yes to a stranger asking me out was a funny memory.
(Btw, that image of the people having coffee is not mine, but it’s pretty close to what happened.)
One day back in like 2011/2012, a young guy followed me through the Queen Victoria Building in the middle of Sydney CBD and stopped me right in the heart of the busy underground arcade during lunchtime on a workday.
He was 18 (could’ve been a year younger) with blond dreadlocks and a t-shirt that said “i-Pood” with a graphic of someone squatting over a toilet seat. It looked just like this:
He told me that he followed me from Townhall train station and asked me out for coffee. In my head I laughed and dared myself to do it, just to see what happens.
Now I never really accepted dates from strangers and so at that time, being 26 or 27 y/o and single with nothing to lose and filled with curiosity, I said yes and gave him my number.
I can’t remember much else about what happened but the one time I met him for coffee, he said he only had enough money to pay for his. Look, there’s no shame in that and I would’ve happily paid for both since I was making bank – but back then coffee shops didn’t have tap and pay. This particular one on a side street just off the main road (George St) was cash only. I didn’t carry cash with me so it was awkward.
After that moment, I re-confirmed that I had no interest in going on dates with strangers, esp when my gut just didn’t have that initial “ooo yes him” reaction. Not that I had that feeling often.
It didn’t bother me that he was like 9 or 10 years younger than me and fresh out of high school (he actually could’ve been in his last year lol). I didn’t care about what he could afford, I make my own money. I was wary of his choice of shirt. I find people with a good sense of humour so attractive, and that was a shitty sign (BOOM! Drum clang).
All these things just reinforced what I did and didn’t want in life. It wasn’t a waste of time; it was a good life lesson. Listen to your instincts more. Learn how to hone in on it. Trust your gut.
I can’t remember much of our conversation, but I think it was a short half-hour chat. I think he talked about how he dated an older girl (GIRL not woman lol) and another time he dated an Asian chick. He tried but just couldn’t make those connections with me. (Side note- I don’t consider myself culturally Asian, as Filipinas are more culturally similar to Latinas, but that’s a whole other topic).
As they say, if it ain’t a ‘HELL YES’ then it’s a ‘NO’. This is a motto I now live by.